2013 has entered with a new sense of hope and realizations.
Over the past few weeks I feel that the connection with my Higher Power is strengthening and I am starting to have more clarity about my path in life. Every time I tap into the source that is my Higher Power I feel that I am at the right place. I cannot explain in words how it feels but when I connect there is clarity, understanding and peacefulness. Every time I disconnect because I am busy or tired or something upsets me, it does not feel right. This is clear sign that connecting with the Higher Power of my own understanding is the way to go for me.
After many months, I now feel closer to the end of my step nine. This does not mean that my amends to some of the people I have hurt stop at step nine. In some instances the damage I have caused does not go away with just an apology, showing remorse or by donating money to worthy causes. Sometimes amends are living amends. They are about living life as a good, honest, generous, humble, caring, faithful human being. I aspire to these amends, to living life like that.
As I come closer to the end of step nine, I feel inspired by what the SLAA Basic Text mentions about what is to follow after completion of step nine:
Now we were truly feeling some sense of deep release from the past! We were free of much guilt for our misdeeds, from the shame of having fallen short of our inner values. In many instances, the values we had thought were ours had turned out to be someone else’s and we had shed or changed these to allow the seeds of our own personal wholeness to take root and grow.
We were indeed living new, positive, unfolding lives. Whether in partnership with others or in solitude, we had truly been granted a spiritual release from our sex and love addiction. While vigilance was still important, the choices we had to make now seemed easier. We felt increasing confidence in our developing partnership with God, and were full participants in the fellowship of S.L.A.A. We enjoyed solitude and were unafraid of honesty and openness with others. We could comprehend what it means to have dignity of self.
(Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, pp. 95-96)
I am experiencing some of the above already and I aspire to experience all of the above. In active addiction I lived in self-centeredness. In recovery I aspire to finally have dignity of self.
I wish you a good 2013 ahead, may you experience good health, joy, peacefulness and dignity of self. May this new year represent a new positive chapter of your life.