Around 18 months back in my post titled “Addicted to Sex and Love: It was time to do something about it“, I wrote that “I would be lying if I did not say that the first few weeks and months of recovery were not hard“. There were indeed hard as changing life long habits is not an overnight process, it takes time. I also wrote “I know that a healthy, happy life is possible“.
Three years down the track I know for sure that both sentences are true. During the past three years I experienced setbacks and struggles along the way. The good thing is that the struggles of the early days continue to be gradually replaced by good, healthy and happy days, weeks, months. Over the past three years I have embraced spirituality. I feel better, more stable, I feel I am transforming into a better human being compared to who I was in active addiction.
My relationship is no longer on the bring of destruction and days of togetherness and happiness have returned to it. Honesty and openness are now the norm rather than the exception. While I still have a lot to learn about intimacy and about being a great partner I am finally starting to have a better understanding of what intimacy in a relationship entails and means. There is still more understanding, learning and healing to take place, as the damage I created with my actions is deep and trust takes time to build. I know this and I am committed to creating a strong foundation of love, trust and safety for my partner in life. She deserves these and much much more.
My relationship with my family of origin has also improved. It is better than it has ever been. I am still working on friendships with people that respect my boundaries and are healthy. Staying away from trouble is now the norm but I do remain vigilant and on the lookout for situations that may pose a threat to my sobriety and damage my relationship again.
There is more for me to learn, experience and do. I know that I cannot rest on the length of my sobriety, the number of steps I have completed or the progress I have made. Recovery works if you work it they say.
I embrace the recovery path. While the recovery path has its ups and downs I know that the more you walk on it, the more ups you experience. The recovery path is helping me experience a great new healthy life.
I am very grateful.