Many men and women that enter sex and love addiction recovery do so because of the devastating consequences that their pattern of infidelity brings to their partners, to their relationships and to consequently to themselves.
A number of members of SLAA entered the 12 step recovery path after searching for ways to stop their compulsive behavior linked to either multiple or repeated infidelity. Infidelity manifests itself in many ways. These may include frequent porn viewing and regular masturbation in secrecy without the partner being aware to the extend it affects the couple’s emotional and sex life. Others may include visiting massage parlors or prostitutes for sexual services or both. Sometimes infidelity involves secret online affairs that turn physical. At other times it can involve sexual or emotional affairs that perhaps started at the workplace, on a business trip or in one’s home town.
People who engage in infidelity do not consider the consequences their behavior and actions have on their partners. They disregard the fact that it is devastating for their partner to find out that the person they loved and trusted all along had a secret life they did not know about. When the infidelity is uncovered the cheated partner starts experiencing a wide spectrum of feelings. These include periods of disbelief, anxiety, anger, sadness, upset, depression, loss of trust, panic attacks and even suicidal thoughts in some cases. Many partners that have been cheated upon describe infidelity as the most painful experience they went through in their lives. Infidelity is devastating.
While in the early days of recovery it can be difficult for a sex and love addict to stop engaging in infidelity and work concurrently on their own recovery and on helping their partner heal, the intention to do so is necessary if he or she wants to become an honest, faithful, caring person and have their partner and relationship heal. While recovery and healing do take time and consistent effort, many marriages and relationships of SLAA members have not only survived but they have also started improving in ways that both partners did not think possible in the past.
If you are engaging in a repeated infidelity pattern, you tried to stop but you found it difficult to do so, please reach out for help. Help can come from a number of sources and one of them is SLAA. The only requirement to join SLAA is a willingness to recover from a pattern of sex and love addiction.
If you would like to attend SLAA meetings in Singapore please contact the local group on firstname.lastname@example.org